Dream Daze

Most people remember their dreams.  At the very least they have dream recall on occasion. Dreams fascinate me on many levels, but mostly because they have yet to be fully understood.  A purge of the  subconscious? A brain unload? A fantasy buried deep within us only our dream state can reveal? Not sure we'll ever know what our minds are fully capable of. I see dreams as a gift to embrace and behold.

Planning a wedding is living a dream for many. It may not seem like it as credit cards are stretched and stress levels rise with deadlines, but ultimately like dreams they are a glorious, finite time. Weddings harness a deep energy and passion of our minds that manifest the depths of our souls. Well, perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic. I can't help but romanticize this time in a woman's life as extraordinary.

When I ask a bride to describe her ideal wedding gown I frequently hear the words princess, glamorous, sexy, classic, elegant. Beneath those words are her dreams. The way she imagines herself as a bride. Maybe those details were what she dreamed since childhood. It's my job to capture as many of her dreams as possible and translate them to reality in the form of her special gown! Listening to a bride is one of the most crucial parts of my job as a stylist. If your stylist is not listening to you, it might not be a healthy partnership for you or the boutique.

I also hear many overwhelmed brides say they can't focus on what they really want. They love everything and can't decide on one special dress. I would say they are fighting that dream daze that lives inside. It is there waiting to be embraced and the only one that can evoke it is the bride herself. When I have a block and dreams aren't surfacing, I scour the internet to find images that speak to me.

Illustrations for me are heavenly to look at. When I find one that makes my heart skip a beat, my  dreaming resumes.

Katharine Asher Illustration

What's your dream daze? Where can you find it without visual overload? Explore with your eyes, imagine with your mind, take a breath and unlock those dreams. Never believe dreams don't come true. You and I are living proof they do.

It's a Girl Thing

"Love Story" by Taylor Swift

As the song goes "pick out a white dress" and we have for over 100 years. Since Queen Victoria started the trend of white wedding gowns our Western culture equates all things wedding with wedding gowns and vice versa. Of course there are exceptions as some brides elect to marry in shorts and a t-shirt, but for the majority a wedding gown is usually included in the festivities.

You can always analyze each layer of "the gown" and talk about the style, the color, fit, the venue it will coordinate with, the wedding palette, the theme, the accessories, etc,etc.. All of which are very important of course! What intrigues me the most is what we can learn from past brides. What can a modern 2016 bride can take away from a 1916 bride? What do the brides from the past have in common with brides of today???

1950s bride

A modern bride of today perhaps doesn't want to be compared to a bride from the 1950s like the above. "I would never wear that!" or "I don't want to look like my grandmother!" "I want to look modern" a today bride might say. What is the definition of modern? As a stylist, I've learned this definition is not a one size fits all. Likewise when I ask "Do you feel like a bride?" That loaded question always conjures an image of a bride that is unique to the individual. What makes one girl feel like a bride might be the polar opposite for another.

Ultimately, brides today decide on a gown they adore not because they feel like they are true to the times, but because they feel beautiful. The bride who falls in love a second time (the first love is of course with her groom!) with her dress does not look in the mirror and say thank goodness I don't look like my grandmother (with all due respect). She usually says I feel a-mazing and cries looking at the gown she will wear down the aisle!

Can we learn from the past? Always. There was elegance. A demure innocence when I study photos of past brides. Many times they were very young women under the age of 20. They sometimes look frightened and for good reason. In the 1800s you were not to smile in your wedding photo! Aside from facial gestures, I adore photos of brides and their attire from all of the decades photos were available. The styles, fabrics and accessories were so indicative of the times and each bride wore them with feminine grace. It is our duty to carry on that grace. Most designers of today do capture it from the inspiring brides from the past.

If you have an heirloom wedding gown available to you take it out, examine its grandeur and give homage to the woman who wore it. Like you she was a girl who liked pretty things and she was a bride.

Mind Swirl

All brides are susceptible. Most cannot escape its clutches. Life plus wedding planning equals Mind Swirl.

Every generation can say they live with economic, social, and personal challenges. This should not be minimized and is a factor in our daily lives. The  21st century bride has no less or more challenges in life, just different. Recognizing a bride today is a busy, global influenced woman she can't help but succumb to hundreds of bridal gown designers vying for her attention, vendors galore, and of course Pinterest pages devoted to the "ideal" wedding.

In war time of the 1940s, brides were opting out of wedding garb instead using a favorite dress from the closet. Fabric wasn't available to produce wedding gowns. They also just picked some pretty flowers from the yard in lieu of a florist creation.  Resources were tight and weddings were planned in a week before the groom was shipped out. A bride in 1941 no doubt had the Swirl.

Challenges that feed Mind Swirl are difficult no matter what the challenge or decade.  I recognize brides are first and foremost people with lives that happen to be planning a wedding, too. A client will carry lots with her when she visits a boutique other than the handbag on her shoulder. What she's carrying in her mind, affects her decision to purchase a gown, If she can't separate the mind swirl from the task at hand, a gown choice, then she is not ready purchase and cannot purchase until the Swirl lets up. I've learned this over the years and I respect brides who simply say " I just can't make a decision." My reply is always "You need to feel right about it." There is no rushing a decision to purchase a wedding gown. The caveat, however, is not to give yourself too long to decide. Set a decision deadline and then you're in charge and not the Swirl!

The 1941 vs. the 2016 bride certainly have their differences, but in the end both became brides because they agreed to share their life with someone. Being a bride is temporary. It should be a joyous, memorable time in a woman's life. Mind Swirl or not, nothing should take that away from you.

Nettling Nature

It is true that with age comes wisdom. Though we can be the wisest of them all, our human tendencies can elude our mindfulness.

I met a beautiful, young woman a month ago who clearly knew what she wanted for her wedding gown. The first few minutes of our acquaintance told me her style without her uttering those specific words. Her body language, choice of words, and appearance allowed my opinions to form. Her intellect clearly obvious, I prepared myself for numerous inquiries and lengthy explanations. I knew we'd need to dissect her wedding gown piece by piece for several hours to make her comfortable for purchase. My assumptions braced me, but ultimately obscured what could have been a clearer client/stylist path for both of us.

Just as we the stylists allow human nature to sneak up on us, so too do brides. For the bride, however, assumptions can wreak havoc on her finite experience as a bride to be. It truly breaks my heart when a bride can't allow herself to be happy. Assumptions can be insidious, unassuming and painful that ultimately create overwhelming anxiety.

gown by vera wang

brooch vintage accessories

It is part of life, facing our humaness and no one is immune. It's what makes us vulnerable and imperfect as our creator intended, but we can rely on each other, trust one another to find joy. Be open minded. Consider a blush gown instead of light ivory. Wear your grandmother's brooch if not on your gown, then on your handbag or in your bouquet. Try a cathedral veil for a poolside, casual wedding. Make each visit to a boutique positive without assuming the worst.  Go with your heart and let it organically transport you to a place of memorable, genuine, exuberant, happiness.

You deserve this special, time in your life to be one of the best. You are human, but you're a woman who is about to marry. Nothing, not even assumptions, should deny you this adventure.


My very, best wishes for a memorable, blessed New Year. Hope you like my new banner and updated look to the blog. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to write about what I love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading. xo

Modest Mindfulness

My heart still skips a beat when I'm in the presence of a wedding gown. A garment intrinsically connected to the raw beauty of marriage. Besides being so appealing to the eye, wedding gowns elevate their owner's being and those around them. Symbolic, traditional, feminine, stylish, sacred wedding dresses have it all.

Vera Wang Fall 2016

I'm compelled to question some designers when I saw the latest trend shown at the October Bridal Fashion Week.  A bridal gown with an illusion aesthetic is breathtaking. The liner removed from the lace or "anti-illusion" just doesn't seem justified. There is no illusion, but parts of the body most women choose not to reveal at their wedding ceremony.                                                                                                   I've talked about trends in other posts which I usually applaud. Some of course fade quickly, while others stay, repeat and evolve. That's the joy and vitality of fashion! Couturiers are dynamic souls always surprising us with their art. I would hope that amidst that explosion of creative interpretation, they consider what and whom they are designing for when it comes to wedding garments.

I'm aware my overzealous enthusiasm for wedding gowns might cause me to be a bit over protective and defensive. They are, as I've also posted, a deep rooted passion since childhood. The gown below makes me swoon and dreamy.

Monique Lhuillier Fall 2016

The illusion detail, the color, the linear beading take me on a romantic journey. These dresses are made for one day in a woman's life. They are cherished on that day and years to come as heirlooms. They conjure a day of pure joy and a sacred, union. Wearable art I humbly respect, a liner shouldn't affect design integrity that much. It would only be a modest change for the designer, but for the bride and her admirers a decent, garment worthy to be called a wedding gown.





                                                                                                         

Don't look..DREAM

Those first few minutes are very, telling. After introductions and formalities, I can sense her demeanor. She's been blissfully mesmerized by beautiful, gowns dancing in her head or frantically frustrated with exhaustion, or thoroughly confused?  Has the search been a joy or a task?

Stylists in our industry should be adept at reading where their client is emotionally and provide options available to ultimately find her the gown she wears down the aisle. Whether a bride walks in our boutique relaxed or tense, I always ask if she is willing. Will she try on a dress I recommend even though it doesn't appeal to her on the hanger? Will she tell me her thoughts when she's wearing the gown? Will she not look for a moment or two in the mirror and..dream?

I realize asking a bride NOT to look in the mirror wearing a wedding gown may seem odd and counter intuitive. Sometimes mirrors agitate and confuse even the calmest of brides. So many thoughts race through the mind to like it, love it, hate it, compare it... Take a step back with eyes closed and think of you and your groom standing together on your wedding day. Just those few seconds to regroup may provide the clarity you need to savor the moment and make your decision.

Being a bride in the 21st century certainly has its advantage as every generation is inherently more sophisticated than the one before. Somehow modern sophistication and expectations lead to that nervous hand I briefly grasp when I meet a bride. Surrender yourself to the meaning not the look of your wedding day. By doing so, you'll find what your heart truly wants and your dress will be one that dreams of are made of.

Trendy Consideration

There is always a stand out for me when the new, season of gowns hit the runways. The "unveiling" from designers isn't usually earth shattering as many styles are repeated or tweaked from last season, which is typical of the fashion industry. What I enjoy are the nuances, the shifts that hearken new trends on the horizon. There are groundbreaking designers and there are those who are inspired by the ground breakers. In the end, the bride enjoys the variety of options available to her style and budget and I gain even more respect for designer talent manifested in garments that set the pace.

Trends to some are not appealing. Brides often tell me they don't want to be "trendy", but timeless. There will always be elements of a trend in any gown you try on. The difference is how obvious it is to you. Many times brides are surprised how they look and feel in a dress they deem trendy. Don't restrict your options simply because you fear your gown won't be timeless. Timeless is relative and elastic in the fashion industry. Your gown will reflect the time today, but most importantly who you are. When you see yourself in the mirror wearing "your gown", you'll know it, you'll adore it and you'll tell your grandchildren some day that was the trend in 2015, but it was your style.

Theia

I salute these trends of the season that trickle in some way or another to all bridal gowns. The selection brides have is so varied, which makes it an excellent time to purchase a gown! You have the spectrum clamoring for your attention in likes of strapless, illusion, cap and full sleeve, low back, super slim fit, ballgown, a-line or fit flare. It's all there, it's all on trend and it's available to try and enjoy.

Elizabeth Filmore Spring 

Vera Wang 

Angel Sanchez

Claire Pettibone

Naeem Khan

Ersa Atelier

Inbal Dror

My heart skips a beat at the ebb and flow of trends in wedding apparel. You may or may not share my enthusiasm. Either way trendy or not, your gown is only fabric unless you are wearing it. It's you, the glowing bride, that brings it to life and the trendy part fades into the true meaning of the gown's purpose on your wedding day and years to come.