Mad Rush

This time of year should be about peace and goodwill toward humanity, but ironically peace does not describe life before the holidays. Similarly, like the holiday season planning a wedding might feel like peace deprivation. Why does the holiday season seem like a mad rush when it should be a time for anticipation, reflection and joy? Can't we stop or slow down to catch our breath long enough to gaze at the December sky whispered with milky clouds, cool air and early dusk?


Once engaged many brides commence the gown journey with a new Pinterest boards, planning apps and appointments at boutiques. Instantly brides are immersed in the wedding industry's clutches. This is exhilarating, but often overwhelming and stressful.

I've heard or observed "the sigh" of a bride many times. This is when I know she's amidst the mad rush. When she's in the dressing room not able to make a decision between two gowns she adores, it's time to step away from the rush and breath.

The beauty in the fine details of the wedding are what should be relished. The hand stitched embroidery on your gown. Your favorite color palette woven through the day. The supple silky petals on your bouquet. The sweet embellishments on your invitations. The ethereal billow of your veil.... These are the treasures to behold and remember.

While taking that breath and break from the rush as you reflect on the glorious details of your wedding day, your blurry vision will begin to adjust with reprieve. It is then that the grip of the rush will release and you'll truly capture the true meaning of your betrothal. The quick beat of your heart will not be from stress, but from genuine bliss only a bride can reap.

Rack Revelations

"Posh Bridal" photo

So much of life is about perspective. What I see may not be what you see and vice versa. Those distinct tastes and opinions make this world the way it is. When I see a rolling rack with wedding gowns draped from pretty hangers, I always catch my breath. This time of year when designers proudly present their new collections at bridal market, I pinch myself when I gaze at the rack morsels. Fabric on utilitarian metal racks is a feeling like no other!

Conversely, you may walk in to a boutique with such racks of splendor and all you seem to feel is nausea. The overwhelming feeling hits you hard. How do I find my dress in this totality of fluff? Where do I begin you might say. Or some brides feel like a kid on Halloween feverishly riding on adrenaline grabbing every dress they can. The result in both of these scenarios is usually frustration, confusion and ultimately the "rack loathe".  

Ideally, the boutique you visit should have the gowns organized to facilitate ease of selection. Many small boutiques use the gowns on racks to highlight the aesthetic of the boutique making the room of dresses very inviting. The process should not be intimidating, but enjoyable with a stylist at your side assisting with gown selection. Never pull more than 3 gowns at at time and remove all eliminations quickly to make for clear decisions. The stylist should assist with this process through out your visit.

Many brides enjoy the freedom of rifling through the dresses to perhaps behold that special one! You should be involved in the process, but allow your stylist to lead through the maze of fabric, price points and styles. This will alleviate your stress and build the important client stylist relationship needed to find the perfect gown for you.

When a wedding gown is chosen from a rack, tried on and magic happens, that is the true crux of my passion. Beautiful dresses on racks are only ornamentation until one is selected for a bride. Maybe by the time the wedding day arrives, your rack ruminations will be forgotten and you have your own to show how really lovely they can be.

Dream Daze

Most people remember their dreams.  At the very least they have dream recall on occasion. Dreams fascinate me on many levels, but mostly because they have yet to be fully understood.  A purge of the  subconscious? A brain unload? A fantasy buried deep within us only our dream state can reveal? Not sure we'll ever know what our minds are fully capable of. I see dreams as a gift to embrace and behold.

Planning a wedding is living a dream for many. It may not seem like it as credit cards are stretched and stress levels rise with deadlines, but ultimately like dreams they are a glorious, finite time. Weddings harness a deep energy and passion of our minds that manifest the depths of our souls. Well, perhaps I'm being a bit dramatic. I can't help but romanticize this time in a woman's life as extraordinary.

When I ask a bride to describe her ideal wedding gown I frequently hear the words princess, glamorous, sexy, classic, elegant. Beneath those words are her dreams. The way she imagines herself as a bride. Maybe those details were what she dreamed since childhood. It's my job to capture as many of her dreams as possible and translate them to reality in the form of her special gown! Listening to a bride is one of the most crucial parts of my job as a stylist. If your stylist is not listening to you, it might not be a healthy partnership for you or the boutique.

I also hear many overwhelmed brides say they can't focus on what they really want. They love everything and can't decide on one special dress. I would say they are fighting that dream daze that lives inside. It is there waiting to be embraced and the only one that can evoke it is the bride herself. When I have a block and dreams aren't surfacing, I scour the internet to find images that speak to me.

Illustrations for me are heavenly to look at. When I find one that makes my heart skip a beat, my  dreaming resumes.

Katharine Asher Illustration

What's your dream daze? Where can you find it without visual overload? Explore with your eyes, imagine with your mind, take a breath and unlock those dreams. Never believe dreams don't come true. You and I are living proof they do.

It's a Girl Thing

"Love Story" by Taylor Swift

As the song goes "pick out a white dress" and we have for over 100 years. Since Queen Victoria started the trend of white wedding gowns our Western culture equates all things wedding with wedding gowns and vice versa. Of course there are exceptions as some brides elect to marry in shorts and a t-shirt, but for the majority a wedding gown is usually included in the festivities.

You can always analyze each layer of "the gown" and talk about the style, the color, fit, the venue it will coordinate with, the wedding palette, the theme, the accessories, etc,etc.. All of which are very important of course! What intrigues me the most is what we can learn from past brides. What can a modern 2016 bride can take away from a 1916 bride? What do the brides from the past have in common with brides of today???

1950s bride

A modern bride of today perhaps doesn't want to be compared to a bride from the 1950s like the above. "I would never wear that!" or "I don't want to look like my grandmother!" "I want to look modern" a today bride might say. What is the definition of modern? As a stylist, I've learned this definition is not a one size fits all. Likewise when I ask "Do you feel like a bride?" That loaded question always conjures an image of a bride that is unique to the individual. What makes one girl feel like a bride might be the polar opposite for another.

Ultimately, brides today decide on a gown they adore not because they feel like they are true to the times, but because they feel beautiful. The bride who falls in love a second time (the first love is of course with her groom!) with her dress does not look in the mirror and say thank goodness I don't look like my grandmother (with all due respect). She usually says I feel a-mazing and cries looking at the gown she will wear down the aisle!

Can we learn from the past? Always. There was elegance. A demure innocence when I study photos of past brides. Many times they were very young women under the age of 20. They sometimes look frightened and for good reason. In the 1800s you were not to smile in your wedding photo! Aside from facial gestures, I adore photos of brides and their attire from all of the decades photos were available. The styles, fabrics and accessories were so indicative of the times and each bride wore them with feminine grace. It is our duty to carry on that grace. Most designers of today do capture it from the inspiring brides from the past.

If you have an heirloom wedding gown available to you take it out, examine its grandeur and give homage to the woman who wore it. Like you she was a girl who liked pretty things and she was a bride.

Mind Swirl

All brides are susceptible. Most cannot escape its clutches. Life plus wedding planning equals Mind Swirl.

Every generation can say they live with economic, social, and personal challenges. This should not be minimized and is a factor in our daily lives. The  21st century bride has no less or more challenges in life, just different. Recognizing a bride today is a busy, global influenced woman she can't help but succumb to hundreds of bridal gown designers vying for her attention, vendors galore, and of course Pinterest pages devoted to the "ideal" wedding.

In war time of the 1940s, brides were opting out of wedding garb instead using a favorite dress from the closet. Fabric wasn't available to produce wedding gowns. They also just picked some pretty flowers from the yard in lieu of a florist creation.  Resources were tight and weddings were planned in a week before the groom was shipped out. A bride in 1941 no doubt had the Swirl.

Challenges that feed Mind Swirl are difficult no matter what the challenge or decade.  I recognize brides are first and foremost people with lives that happen to be planning a wedding, too. A client will carry lots with her when she visits a boutique other than the handbag on her shoulder. What she's carrying in her mind, affects her decision to purchase a gown, If she can't separate the mind swirl from the task at hand, a gown choice, then she is not ready purchase and cannot purchase until the Swirl lets up. I've learned this over the years and I respect brides who simply say " I just can't make a decision." My reply is always "You need to feel right about it." There is no rushing a decision to purchase a wedding gown. The caveat, however, is not to give yourself too long to decide. Set a decision deadline and then you're in charge and not the Swirl!

The 1941 vs. the 2016 bride certainly have their differences, but in the end both became brides because they agreed to share their life with someone. Being a bride is temporary. It should be a joyous, memorable time in a woman's life. Mind Swirl or not, nothing should take that away from you.

Nettling Nature

It is true that with age comes wisdom. Though we can be the wisest of them all, our human tendencies can elude our mindfulness.

I met a beautiful, young woman a month ago who clearly knew what she wanted for her wedding gown. The first few minutes of our acquaintance told me her style without her uttering those specific words. Her body language, choice of words, and appearance allowed my opinions to form. Her intellect clearly obvious, I prepared myself for numerous inquiries and lengthy explanations. I knew we'd need to dissect her wedding gown piece by piece for several hours to make her comfortable for purchase. My assumptions braced me, but ultimately obscured what could have been a clearer client/stylist path for both of us.

Just as we the stylists allow human nature to sneak up on us, so too do brides. For the bride, however, assumptions can wreak havoc on her finite experience as a bride to be. It truly breaks my heart when a bride can't allow herself to be happy. Assumptions can be insidious, unassuming and painful that ultimately create overwhelming anxiety.

gown by vera wang

brooch vintage accessories

It is part of life, facing our humaness and no one is immune. It's what makes us vulnerable and imperfect as our creator intended, but we can rely on each other, trust one another to find joy. Be open minded. Consider a blush gown instead of light ivory. Wear your grandmother's brooch if not on your gown, then on your handbag or in your bouquet. Try a cathedral veil for a poolside, casual wedding. Make each visit to a boutique positive without assuming the worst.  Go with your heart and let it organically transport you to a place of memorable, genuine, exuberant, happiness.

You deserve this special, time in your life to be one of the best. You are human, but you're a woman who is about to marry. Nothing, not even assumptions, should deny you this adventure.


My very, best wishes for a memorable, blessed New Year. Hope you like my new banner and updated look to the blog. I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to write about what I love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading. xo