Perfect Love

I read recently that human beings can't comprehend perfect love, because we are imperfect. We are incapable of giving or receiving perfect love. Despite this sobering notion,  I would contest that I've come close to perfect love so far in my life. I've seen it around me, I've been touched by it and I know it exists in the world albeit in its imperfect form. Perhaps like the facets of a diamond the human scope of love exists on several angles, sides and surfaces in our hearts.

One of my angles has belonged, since childhood, to wedding gowns.  When October comes around each year my pulse quickens with anticipation as I prepare to attend bridal fashion week in New York. Every year I'm mesmerized by the garments talented designers showcase. The level of detail exuding from each piece that I eagerly fix my eyes is humbling. Newborn designs make their debut down the runway as I study with a buyer's mind, but weakened in the knees with a fanatic's obsession. Imperfect love in the air at bridal week.

Tattoo lace, tulle, volume skirts, sleeves, clustered beading, illusion, color, old Hollywood are some of the themes and trends I expect to see next weekend. Each designer attempts to dazzle buyers with their version of the trends and a personal aesthetic stamp. It's a whirlwind of activity and at times chaos that overwhelms even the seasoned attendee. The excitement is palpable and the pace fast as time escapes my delirious love, sick mind. Exhausted mentally, but resuscitated creatively bridal week is stylists' marathon.

A bonus plan for this year's visit is to complete my search for vintage pieces I've been curating. My micro vintage accessory business should be completed this Fall with a launch soon after. Another facet of my heart's desire- vintage jewelry.

My trip journal will be full of notes and ideas that will propel my innate passion for wedding styling to another level. My future posts will connect with what my eyes witness on the runways. But my heart will rejoice wildly within that facet wedding gowns occupy and perhaps give me just a glimpse of heavenly, perfect love.

Relevance

One of the common remarks I hear in the dressing room is "Will I still like this dress in 20 years?" Or another is "Will I ask years from now what was I thinking?" Those questions are understandable and not uncommon. Unfortunately I don't answer my client in a way she wants, because when it comes to fashion that question shouldn't be asked. Fashion is a volatile, dynamic cyclical art. What is offered today in gown choices will not be offered to a bride 20 years from now.  Trends do repeat, but in more a recycled, redefined manner. As much as I would like to answer any question a bride has when she is choosing her gown, I can only reassure her that her wedding gown is relevant to our time now and hopefully that is enough to satiate her doubt.

Celine Dion 1994

Besides it's actually kind of fun to look back at another decade and critique the fabulous and not so great trends in wedding fashion. A quick trip to the 1990s gives us the beautiful almost regal styles. The over the top 80s gave the decade following its blessing with the continued high shoulders and opulent head pieces and veils.

Archduchess Sophie of Austria 1990 Valentino

From Four Weddings and a Funeral

Oh the sleeves, portrait collars, detachable trains and yikes the dreadful basque waist! Though the basque waist was slenderizing and quite popular for that reason, I'm glad I haven't seen it back since.

1993 Dior Gown with a basque waist- Spectacular though!

I know that decade well, because it was 20 years ago this month I was a bride. The "Modern Bride" cover photo above is from a 1993 edition I had in my extensive wedding magazine collection I started 21 years ago! The two photos above are from that magazine edition. 

These are wonderful, memories I will always hold dear. August 1994 was a different world, but it was  my time to be a bride and the styles reflected fashion trends of that time. I can giggle now at the basque waist. I'm not asking myself what I was thinking (yes, I had one!) It was relevant back then and it actually was quite flattering! Reveling the present and enjoying your time as a bride is most important. There will be time you'll look back at photos decades after your wedding day like I have, but I can assure you it will be with a smile!

Me as a bride in August 1994

The Dynamic Canvas

I must confess when it was my time to choose a wedding dress it didn't go well.  I won't deceive you, nothing tragic occurred. I was a bride years before I joined the wedding industry so my knowledge was nil. As we all learn from our mistakes and yes after my 3rd gown purchase (two were from a certain "basement" sale that no longer exists) I realized I wanted all my ideas in one dress. That was unrealistic and lead to frustration and disappointment. I found a beautiful dress I still love to this day almost 20 years later, but I had to bend and accept my dream dress wouldn't have all the elements I desired.  

Fast forward to 2014 as I stylist I never use the words compromise and bend. Today's bride doesn't need to do either. The wedding industry has exploded with designers who offer a massive, price point spectrum and clamor for your business. The internet and sites such as Etsy,  Pinterest, The Knot, Pink French Bride to name a few have augmented the planning process for a bride in ways I would never have imagined 20 years ago. Not only do brides have choice, but the sharing of ideas and inspiration is enormous via social media. The 21st century bride has everything at her fingertips literally, which is amazing and perhaps some what daunting.  One suggestion I always make is let the wedding be as unique as you are as a bride and and as a couple. Things will fall into place accordingly, because it will be a personal, reflection of you. Your dress is the canvas. What will you paint for your groom and your guests? How will you express yourself as a bride?

Some of my favorite ways to project your unique style are changing your look either boldly or ever so subtly throughout your wedding day. You might choose to cocoon yourself in veiling to add tradition to your ceremony and then reappear to your guests donning a fabulous headpiece or a heirloom colored, jewel in your hair. You could add an ornate belt around the waist of your simple, gown. 

Headpiece found on Etsy

I have a huge crush on caplets and shrugs. Maybe walk down the aisle with one draped over your shoulders and then remove it later for the party. Or slip on a shrug later in the evening when the temperature drops at your chilly,  fall or winter venue.

BHLDN

If you're going for the comfort of all out party wear and an entire second look, I cannot say enough about the haute piece by Pronovias (right). A chic, encore that will dazzle your guests as you and your groom dance the night away. The Hailey Paige option (left) is incredible as well as the skirt is removed to reveal a great, cocktail length little, white dress.

The twists and turns of your canvas are endless! There are so many options that you can personalize. I revel the opportunity to assist a bride with her ideas to express herself fully. Your wedding day is truly your day to allow a glimpse into your soul and paint a masterpiece as unique as you are.

Your moment

The bride is you.

She is you. The woman in the gown staring back at you is you. One in the same. You're the bride.
Relief, calm, clarity.

Tears. Heart pounding. Dull voices of joy circumvent the room as if they're miles away.
You have it on. You turn around and stare at your reflection.

You see her on-line. You pin your favorites. You admire. You gush. You dream...

He asks. You say yes! The ring slides on your finger.




When you accept the proposal you can certainly call yourself the bride. However, the moment you realize you are a bride is another story. When does it hit you? I'd like to say it's that brief space in time you choose your gown!

I've worked with many brides over the years who do act, look, and speak the part of bride upon our meeting. They believe when they walk in the boutique they are the bride. Why wouldn't they? That is their label. That is the generic name vendors in the wedding industry use: "my bride...".

There is nothing wrong with stepping into that role. You must, but have you had your moment? Have you reconciled the person wearing the wedding gown in the mirror is really you?  Until that moment occurs, you are the bride in name only.

Acceptance and elation intertwined is a clear indicator you found your gown! Acceptance because you know in your heart you feel incredible, beautiful and that you, yes, you are going to be a bride who confidently walks down the aisle in that stupendous frock! Elation is what comes before, during and after the gown serves its purpose on your wedding day.

In the grand length of a lifetime a woman can only call herself a bride for a relatively short time. Enjoy it in all its facets, but especially the day it becomes clear you truly are the beautiful, bride.

A Poetic Palette

I was one of those kids who loved boxes of crayons. The larger the box, the better. So many color options for my masterpiece. Within that sumptuous box of crayons was a certain hue I could never ignore. It was the pastels. The baby pinks, light greens and sky blues were worn to nubs in my crayon box. I reveled in those soft colors that quite simply were happy to me. 

Ian Stewart Fall 2014

Rosa Clara 2014

Oscar de la Renta 2014

Stella de Libero

Vera Wang Fall 2014

The definition of pastel as an adjective is soft, pure, delicate, "light in prose or poetic." Since 1662 the French word has been in the dictionary and through the centuries has evoked the simple, stillness that is gentle. The classic colors to describe new babies-light pink and light blue. New life and beginnings, the color represents for Spring and the Easter season.

Designers have used this lady like palette over the years in beautiful ways. However, there was also a time bridesmaids dreaded the typical pastel frock they were coerced to don. Bride's in the 1960s and 1970s frequently chose pastels for their maids.  The never wear again bridesmaid gown was born and pastels unfairly equated to silly fluff tucked far away in a closet after the wedding.

To my delight, designers have revisited the French Meringue hues again and the splendor of pastels have emerged in ready to wear, evening and bridal ensembles. The styles pictured are a brief depiction of this alluring brilliance. Some subtle and others as bold as a pastel will allow to secure a fresh, modern look for the bride who opts for a non traditional shade. I've always been a proponent of color somewhere on the bride, but this season takes the radiance of color to a another level of chic.

These gowns are editorial and not for everyone, but they inspire alone in their beauty. If pastels conjure delicate softness, a new beginning, Spring flowers, a childhood memory, neutrality, then a wedding can't be far from one's mind. Or maybe they don't have anything at all to do with a wedding. They are just pretty to look at. After all these years as an admirer, I'd agree.

The Unsung Hero

There are so many heroes out there in the world, which is heartening to know. Perhaps you've never met an actual hero yet in your lifetime? Or on the contrary you've known several. Either way you're about to be in the presence of one after you choose your wedding gown! That person is your seamstress or tailor. A skilled, knowledgeable person who will guide you through your final few months and transform your already amazing gown into something unique only to you...your custom fit wedding gown! These wonderful people are often overlooked and hardly ever get the glory the sales consultant enjoys. They are usually the last a bride meets as she inches closer to her wedding day. With all the excitement building in her mind, she doesn't have the time or mental stamina to form a relationship with the person who pins her gown. But it is the fingertips of these people who guide your gown through a sewing machine and reconstruct it to fitted perfection.

The alteration process can be daunting to many brides. They are usually very, nervous when they try on a wedding gown they selected months prior. Because gowns take several months to arrive, I've actually heard brides say they forgot many details about the gown. Seeing the gown again usually is a joyous time as it reminds the bride of her excellent choice and that her wedding day is approaching. Anxiety is also present in the fitting room as the seamstress zips the gown and attempts to place pins where the alterations are needed. It is these heroes who quietly calm the bride with their confident prudence and assure her they will take every step to care for her precious garment.

Not only does the bride have to trust her wedding gown will be altered flawlessly, the boutique and its staff need to trust as well. The reputation of the boutique is closely intertwined with its alteration staff as the two are synergistic partners. You cannot have one with out the other in a custom order environment. It is imperative for a boutique to have an impeccable, alterations department devoted only to the wedding ensemble. This is why purchasing a wedding gown online is extremely risky.

In this global economy, sadly the couturier is a dying breed. Almost gone are the days when a bride visited a dress shop and a couturier designed and produced a wedding gown in house unique to only her measurements. Many wedding gowns in affordable price points are manufactured according to  general size scales the company dictates. The result an ill fitting wedding gown that arrives at the boutique despite the correct size ordered. Your gown then falls literally in the hands of the person who greets you with a pin cushion. He or she is charged with the crucial task to carve the gown shell into a brilliant, cameo.

It is not my intention to make the bride feel guilt for not recognizing this hero. The humility of their workmanship is why I see them as heroes and maybe you will see it too. They send brides down the the aisle with a smile all in a days work.