She's got butterflies, she's not quite herself, she's got a tear in her eye. She is your mom. Her beautiful, princess is getting married and now she's wearing a wedding gown! Can her heart continue to take the tug of war between happy and sad? She is so excited to witness this new chapter in your life. She is thrilled to be a part of the planning. But today as she stares at you in a wedding dress, she only sees her baby, her princess, her little girl grown up about to be a bride she remembers being herself.
Needless to say, mom has a plethora of emotions and images scurrying through her head when she accompanies you to your gown appointment. In all the years I've assisted brides with their moms in the dressing room, I've observed different ways these emotions manifest themselves. I've seen moms with a deer in headlight look to moms who are boisterous to some who simply cannot allow themselves to accept the gown decision should be made by only one person-the bride.
It can be an wonderful experience for the bride and her mom to share. Most brides include their mom in the wedding gown decision. It is a tradition in our culture brides still honor. I think what brides don't plan on, and how could they unless they are moms themselves, is how their mom will react when the moment comes and the wedding gown is on. In fact, I believe the dynamic goes deeper and the bride herself is surprised how she acts with her mom in the room. Women want to be accepted by our female peers and when mom is in the room she is the ultimate peer.
It can be complicated and not something I'll attempt to analyze further, but I can say I have seen extraordinary examples of the power of mother daughter relationships when they cry, embrace and laugh upon finding The Gown. I have also seen incredible mother figures for brides who do not have their biological mother present at the gown appointment. The bond a bride has with her mom or adopted mom is so apparent during the gown appointment, it is truly heartwarming to observe.
I've been told as a mom myself, you never stop being a mother no matter how old your kids get. As you look at yourself in the mirror in your wedding gown, mom is watching too like she always will with a smile.
